hey girl!

when the phone no longer provides

map

she holds herself

bodies on consignment 

in the quiet she breathes herself

her hands find letters 

weaving a metal blanket

cold

she maps herself in text

dropping pebbles. 

pulling cards. 

reading the stars.

and the occasional magic existential eight ball.

limited edition.

if you want to, follow her

her words, her visions, her sounds.

her spirit is in written, painted, and sculpted works: tags, love notes: i was here. i was. i am. 

road signs, you might use. 

traffic, cross town; secrets. 

your hands, your words, clues.

light shows, the unknown, still, present.

sex beat, gun club. healing is the only path.

[we] commit to creativity

*******

heard on the street: you got to get responsible!

thank you, street. for the poetry and wisdom and the slang and the connection. redemption song. 

*

i want to travel you, falling in love series, imagined

who are you? and, whose waters have flowed through you, smoothing creases into your skin? how have your crevasses formed? what is the design in this? how has it become, over time, so deep, so rich. the patches of green lush, blue grey, harvests feeding dragon flies and bumble bees?

what does your night sky consist of? why are the planets arranged thusly? what stories are held in your constellations?

where is the map? tell me how to get there. drop bread crumbs, pebbles. i will find my way. i am an explorer.

something beautiful happened today
     i chose a card, it was blank; limitlessness, get out of your own way, trust
and something beautiful happened yesterday
     i allowed my heart to feel; sometimes empty, sometimes flushed, sometimes tight
and something beautiful happened two days before that
     i witnessed pink light, grey sky, like junior high graduation tuxedos,
     i witnessed cloud condensation in the forest, and heard - what was it?
     from the loving arms of the father, shuffling me off after glasses of wine
     [go now, young one, our livers run strong]
     into the loving arms,
     of college radio

and in between those days, sweetness both ways, and vibes, and imagining, remembering, dropping pebbles, bread crumbs.

your eyes are the color of the sea

so real

so imagined

dreams, waking, series, continued

1. drinking a sip of goat's blood, metallic blue like mercury

2. cheetahs, like that tigress, about to attack; panther uninterested on other side of fence in the yard

3. coyote, only not a dream. i, big and small, sensing my own fear, drew in a deep breath, kept my eyes down, disarmed, stood tall as if the coyote was a bear and walked more and more childlike to safety.

4. water. which is your favorite philosopher, and why? lao tsu. observe natural law. which was the one i picked up at elena's with a hard e? hegel? and laughed out loud and the absurdity. i prefer poets generally, or winnie the pooh. we don't pretend to know.

i want to be with you in a warm rainstorm

dust and water

water and dust

did you think i'd leave you here?

http://youtu.be/49P3sSctpic

this is astrology, stars in plastic glowing on the ceiling of your childhood room, and this is the trickle of water flowing in a clear stream, in a sunlit sunken forest

this is the tickle of a blade of grass in the wind 

warm sand under your body

this is birth

creation

i wanted you

what is the soundtrack?

stop following me

desired outcomes, desired results, be here now. needs driven economy. creative intelligence. love. deep economy. the sensual act of smoking: slow drag inhale full, mouth open, hungry. the whisper exhale full, slow, lingering.

it's flacid. #dickpatrol. poetry criticism. zen vs. buddhism, differing in the part about essentially nothing vs. essentially good. i.e zen vs. the board of education. or vice versa. good skit options. hardness vs. softness. really we should all join improv classes. as part of our education, and also, free schooling, and going back to kindergarten to learn non-defensive communication and non violent civil disobedience and growing our own food.

clitoral reconstruction, whole female identity. 

nyeah, no. give them an inch they take a yard. supporting other peoples' foundations. non separate.

sigh.

thought remnants today.

is there a theme?

if there is a theme, its soundtrack is either faith, by george michael, or ha! don't be mad, love will keep us together, who is it, who is it? captain and tenile. peaches and 'h'erb. or, trick daddy in da wind.

so fkg random this one. the musical theme can be better illustrated by the other online scatterheart writing pad: 365on21ststreet.

let's choose authenticity! for example i colored my hair 'cause you know, you aren't supposed to look older. but it's so fake. i hate being fake. i would rather have grooves in my face and gold* teeth than not recognize myself for trying to change this miraculous insanely gorgeous thing i got when i dove down here.

* notice i didn't say yellow, which is my second favorite color